Yulin – who playfully explores the Chinese-American experience in many of her works – finally looking comfortable and confident in her qipao.
My favorite part of writing The Pankou is talking to all the incredible women who write to me. As it turns out, the desire to don a qipao (or cheongsam) with confidence represents something of a rites of passage for many women raised in a Chinese hyphenated household. (Side note: don’t you just love that phrase – “Chinese hyphenated”? Credit entirely attributable to Yulin.)
Like me, many go through a period of total cultural rejection in their teenage years before finding comfort in themselves in their twenties. As they embrace the Chinese part of their roots, many yearn for a way to express this, and incorporate the richness of their Chinese heritage into their lives.
Yulin’s first message to me on Instagram encapsulated this story beautifully. Her story of not being able to find quite the right qipao mirrored mine so exactly that I tapped on her profile out of curiosity. To my delight, I discovered that she leads something of an exciting life over in LA – she is a producer/screen writer, and has produced many works featuring Asian-American actresses. In fact, the way she captured the awkward Asian-American teenage experience in all its glory brought back so many embarrassing recollections that I was left cringing in my seat. I loved it.
So I decided I wanted to get to know her, and use her story as the first of a series about Chinese hyphenated women – women who search for and embrace their Chinese roots, women who are pursuing their passions and doing brave things, women who inspire us in their qipaos.
Here is Yulin, I love her story and I love the stories she writes, enjoy –
(and if you have a great qipao story, please write to me!)
Who is Yulin Kuang? (In 50 words or less)
I’m a writer and director based in Los Angeles! I’m a big fan of cats, vintage clothing, and romance novels. I figure skate for fun.
What inspired this career choice? Growing up, I don’t think I have a single Asian friend whose parents would have supported something like this. Was it a brave choice?
My parents knew I loved storytelling even as a kid – I was always making up my own endings to “improve” the books I was reading. I thought for a while that I wanted to become a journalist – so I majored in creative writing and international relations in college. By the time I graduated four years later, I was certain I wanted to pursue a career as a screenwriter/director. I got an entry-level job as an NBC Page in Los Angeles and assured my parents that this was a temporary stop on my way to getting an office job of some kind, within the entertainment industry. Then when my year as an NBC Page was up, I told my parents I was going to start a YouTube channel for my writing/directing projects – and I would apply to grad school if things didn’t work out. They knew I had a pipe dream, and I made it easier on both of us by pretending I had a Plan B at every step. My parents are a lot more supportive now that I’ve found some stability in my career – like most first gen-immigrant parents, I think they were always more worried about me being happy and stable than they were about my specific career choices.
What’s the most difficult part of what you do? How do you do it?
I spend so much time chasing jobs as a freelancer, that I often find myself struck with imposter syndrome once I actually get the job – like “Oh no, I’ve tricked these people into thinking I’m worth it, now I have to prove it!” I’ve received good advice from a lot of smart people in this area – if the fancy people who hired me believe in me, then I should believe in myself. And get used to the feeling of imposter syndrome because it doesn’t really ever go away.
What is your earliest memory of qipao?
It was 1998 and my third grade chorus teacher gave me the chance to sing a solo of “Reflections” from Disney’s Mulan that had just came out. She asked if I had a qipao that I could wear for the performance. (I did not.) My parents took me into Chinatown in New York to get fitted for a red silk floral qipao. My dad got a parking ticket that cost as much as the qipao! I wore the dress and felt very special getting to sing the solo, but honestly I don’t have a great singing voice – I think they just gave me the part because I was the only Chinese girl in our class. I tried putting on the qipao a few times after that, since it fit me up through seventh grade. But I always ended up talking myself out of wearing it out of the house because I was too self-conscious.
Yulin in her third grade red qipao
Yulin in her third grade red qipao with her mum
Yulin also sent me this although she doesn’t quite remember it. It was the earliest picture of her in a qipao, when her family first moved to the US. I love that we’ve captured her journey as a Chinese American with the qipao, from the earliest days, to today.
What qipaos do you currently have in your wardrobe?
I have a vintage cream-colored silk qipao blouse that I picked up at the Rose Bowl Flea Market a few months ago for $10! And also the qipao I ordered from The Pankou – the Classic Cap Sleeve Qipao in Navy. I had it tailored to fit my measurements and wore a slip dress underneath to keep my lines clean – it fit like a dream when I put it on! There’s something old fashioned and fun about wearing a slip under a tailored dress. I love this dress as a gateway qipao – it’s subtle and sophisticated in design, and I feel like I gained the confidence to try bolder, brighter qipaos while wearing it. The morning we did this photoshoot in LA’s Chinatown, I started by pairing it with a black silk trench that I often wear with another navy dress to ease myself into a comfort zone of feeling like it fit in my closet. About an hour in, I was able to shed the trench and felt like a chic version of myself in just the qipao! By the end of the photoshoot, I had exorcised my qipao fashion demons enough that I bought a cheap red silk qipao from a souvenir shop inside the Chinatown plaza. It reminded me of the first silk qipao I wore in third grade, and I wanted to try wearing a version of that again as a grown up!
Yulin wears her cream qipao blouse, and holds up her two red qipaos
How do you balance the contradictions of your Chinese heritage with your American life?
This is a hard one to answer! I don’t know quite how to grapple with the world “contradictions”, since they don’t so much contradict each other as they do co-exist and not always smoothly. There are times when my experience as a Chinese immigrant bumps up against my American life, but those bumps can vary – sometimes it’s just me growing up obsessed with the idea of a traditional American Thanksgiving experience, other times it’s the memory of a girl in fourth grade calling me a chink for wearing a qipao during a class presentation about my family history.
These bumps make up my experience of growing up Chinese American, sometimes the bumpy memories are ugly or uncomfortable. I figure overall, it’s been character building and useful to me as a writer/director. I’ve been working this year on a personal journey of cultural appreciation, since I spent so much of my life up to this point trying just to assimilate. So it’s been a lot of driving out to super Chinese-populated suburbs for dimsum and supporting Chinese American artists I find on Instagram and doing my grocery shopping at Chinese grocery stores. And looking for qipaos that I can wear confidently!
What is your dream? Career-wise? Life-wise?
My parents raised me to be ambitious and value hard work. I want to build an empire! I am obsessed with romance as a genre, it’s the thing that first sparked me to storytelling. I want to tell love stories across mediums – in film and television and in other experimental new ways. I find a well-told love story with a happy ending to be one of the most gratifying experiences in the world — happy endings are a requisite! Fiction can be used to make us reflect on reality and escape reality – we need both, but I do my best work with the camp that deals in escapism. In my lifetime, I want to direct a major studio romance movie, preferably a classic literary adaptation of some kind. Period pieces give me such joy!
Life-wise – I’m pretty lucky so far! I am surrounded by friends and family who believe in / support me in both my work and my personal goals. I once read a romance novel where the romantic hero said they wanted a family, so that in a hundred years, someone with the heroine’s smile/spirit (or less romantically, DNA) would still walk the Earth. I liked that explanation a lot – family as a personal legacy. That’s big picture though! Small picture, I’d like to be happy and fulfilled, making work with the people I love. I’m an adult figure skater in my free time, so I’d also love to land an axel at some point!
What were the highlights of 2018 for you, career-wise and personally?
Career-wise, I got to do a writers roundtable (when a bunch of screenwriters sit in a room and try to make a script better) for a major studio feature earlier this year. I was sitting at a table with screenwriters who had decades of experience on me and were looking at me like the things I said mattered and had value. It was indescribably empowering. I also got nominated for a Writers Guild Award (the Writers Guild is the union for professional screenwriters in America) along with the other writers of a romance anthology web series I worked on, which was a very nice way to end a year that started with me joining the Writers Guild.
On a personal note, I got engaged this year! I also adopted a second cat and took up figure skating as a hobby, which was life-changing. I’m physically much stronger than I was this time last year.
What will be your big projects in 2019?
I am working on a feature script that I hope to direct, among other things. I’m superstitious about talking too much about projects before they are officially announced, though! Also planning a wedding. (Miranda: I sense there will be a big qipao moment there!)
Please leave us with links to a few favourite pieces of your own work, and maybe a couple from other directors/screen writers you admire
My work:
Kissing in the Rain: a web series I created and directed about two sets of actors who keep finding themselves kissing in the rain. Still really proud of this one!
Christmas Dumplings: an episode that I wrote and directed for Love Daily, a romance anthology. My episode is set in a Chinese restaurant, and I wanted it to reflect the types of Chinese restaurants I grew up going to – the big ones with lazy susans and never-ending menus. This one got me my WGA nomination!
Irene Lee, Girl Detective: the first short film I directed post-college, about a 7 year old girl detective trying to solve the case of the missing mysteries on boring afternoon.
Other recs:
Father of the Bride (1991) is one of the movies we watched to learn English when my family first moved to the US. I re-watched it recently and it holds up remarkably well! It’s sweet and sincere and funny and timeless. The 1991 adaptation by Nancy Meyers and Charles Shyer is wonderful!
When Harry Met Sally (1989) is my favorite romcom. It’s just so wonderfully written and acted and directed. It’s charming without being treacly. I absolutely love it.
The Hating Game by Sally Thorne – this one isn’t a movie or screenplay, it’s a romance novel! I read it on a whim and it made me fall in love with contemporary romance novels all over again.
Well, that is all from Yulin. I hope you enjoyed getting to know her as much as I have!
Photo credits: Zack Wallnau
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